When life gives you lemons just buy dart guns!

Lately life has been beating me up. I feel like I am making the hardest decisions of my life. I am questioning who I am as a person and who I am as a provider for my family. When I really look back at it I have had a pretty easy year with Samantha and the girls. We have always made the best of the things we have and appreciate everything that we are given. I want to take care of my new family, spend time with them, and enjoy my life. I am searching like everyone else in this world for a little piece of peace. I don’t think anything I just typed makes any sense at all!!!!!! Feelings and words are sometimes hard to bring together in happy time!

I guess I have just lost a little bit of my swag! I got knocked down about twenty self esteem levels. But maybe I am just being a baby or maybe I am just miss-understanding everything that has happened in the last 4 weeks. Or I have lost my mind!

When the world gives you lemons go buy dart guns!

 

Get up on my links!

So while you are checking out my blog you should click on some links located on the left of your screen. I have lots of interesting things to link up with over there. Funny stuff, serious stuff, other blogs, and mustache type links. I have advertisements for friends and foes alike.

Check out:

Found Magazine

Red Sea Tattoo

Vice Magazine

Index Skate Shop

Myspace’s

Facebook’s

Flickr’s

Sexy Blogs

Rad Blogs

I want my blog to be a good time and possibly help you have a good time someplace else. So browse about, check out older blogs, and less popular ones have a great time!

Things I can do now since I am too much of a wimp to get Tattooed.

1. Join a bowling league and become a pro bowler.

2. Puzzle night with the kids.

3.  Learn a second language.

4. Open a meth lab.

5. Practice my skateboarding.

6. Become a independent film maker!

7. Professional Midget Wrestler.

8. Reality super star of the show “Biggest Wimp”

9. Movie night every night.

10. Become diabetic.

11. Learn how to cook.

12. Work on my six pack!

13. Write the great american novel.

14. Become a tattoo artist.

15. Learn to draw (might need to come before #14).

16. Become an aesthetician.

35% Mustache, 10% Tattoos, 8% Movies, 17% Skateboarding, 15% Pegacorns, 14% Crap, 1% Other Mythical Creatures, but 100% Mediocre!

Eleven months ago I stole an idea from a friend of mine. Okay well I didn’t steal it I was inspired by it. Look Mack told me it would be cool if I started a blog since I was inspired by his. In todays society things tend to be very politically correct and a blog seems like a pretty sweet way to express ones self in a no boundaries sort of way. For me I enjoy the excitement of being able to throw out little pieces of myself onto the world wide web.

Just sharing little moments of my life whether it be in photos, run-on sentences, rants, or raves, or in the description of a mythical creature and its powers! I have come to embrace this little blog adventure. At times when I have nothing to do or have some time to waste it gives me what I see as a creative out let. I can chat about friends (old and new), I can talk about my frustrations with my skateboard and my friends (old and new), I can twitter (or tweet), I can laugh and cry, and I can do it all naked. Just random freedom in my own blog world. Themostmediocre is my guts spilt out on to your computer screen and that can be mildly intimate.

I also try to pimp out my friends on here from Matt at Red Sea Tattoo, Jesse Grubbs, Matt and Justin at Juma, Samantha, and anyone else I can think of. I have enjoyed and struggled with this thing. I want it to be creative even when I am not. I want people to love it even when they do not love me. I want to have something that reaches outside of my family, friends, and regular circle of life. Samantha says I do it cause I have a giant fragile ego that must be stroked on a regular basis by strangers. Samantha is not always right.

Why have I decided to share this little piece of me? Why do I suddenly feel like I have to well defend my blog? Or for that matter my bulletins, my run-on sentences, and my creative use of the in correct “then”. Well here it is I have recently come under attack by what I can only describe as language or opinion nazis. I think it is kind of funny, don’t get me wrong, the english majors who work at the local Kroger, the late night computer nerd still searching to find that special over seas bride, or that bored ex tattoo artist in Japan (dude I had to get you!) like to pick on my blog. Jesus I mean of all the blogs in all the world they had to stumble onto mine. Is my blog on some sort of grammar police web site for violations against grammar or spelling. I just wanted to let the world know why I was here and why I enjoy it so much and why the nazis can suck it.

This special picture is for all you weirdos out there or their or theare! Or just where ever you might be! Its on you silly bastards! Love me or hate me I know that you love me no matter what you really feel or think your love spills out all over my blog by the way you pay attention to it with so much of your love/hate grammar/spelling/obama love comment/mail/bulletin/awesome comments about mythical creatures of hope and prosperity.

Slacking.

I have been slacking on my blog.

I am going to sell you to the Gypsies!

“If you don’t start acting right I am going to sell you to the Gypsies in the alley!” “They love little white kids.”

As a kid whenever I acted up my parents would tell me they would sell me to the Gypsies that lived in the alley. Seriously I was terrified and believed that Gypsies lived in alleys until I was 18. I just always thought that Gypsies liked to buy bad white kids and force them into crazy Gypsy labor.

Now later in life I thought that my parents had made this idea up on their own. I have never heard anyone else say it or other people tell me their parents said the same thing. Until I saw this sign!!!! This sign is at a restaurant in Arlington called Buck and Loons! So if you got some kids and they are acting up warn them that you will sell them to the Gypsies if they don’t stop acting up!

I guess I am not sexy enough or too sexy?

So I like Freebirds well really I would have to say that I love Freebirds. Burritos are awesome its all the food you need in one easy to hold and devour  pouch. But for some reason Freebirds doesn’t like one or all of the following: Men, Tattooed Men, Men with Mustaches, Skateboarders, or Skateboarding Tattooed Mustached Men. Every time that Samantha and I go to Freebirds I seem to get the raw end of the deal. We order almost the exact same burrito and mine is ALWAYS smaller. I mean holy burrito look how much smaller mine is then hers?????? I smile, I am nice and polite and my burrito goes weak every time! So if your out there and you work at Freebirds try and be nice and hook the gentlemen up from time to time.

Year One.

Samantha and I are coming up on a year together and it has been one heck of a year. We have had our fair share of ups and downs and side ways! Here is a short list of some of the things we have seen in this short year.

1. 2 cell phone plans.

2. 1 gangster apartment complex.

3. 80 thrift stores.

4. 5 birthdays.

5. 1 engagement.

6. 2 engagement rings.

7. 1 car wreck.

8. 2 times the Bank robbed us.

9. 10 tattoos.

10. 2 miscarriages.

11. 3 jobs (one on the internet).

12. 1 trip to six flags.

13. 4 guinea pigs.

14. 30 plus Net Flix Movies!

15. 1 Christmas.

16. 7 Bowling Bags.

17. 1 nervous breakdown.

18. 100 Owls.

19. 1 Video Camera and Death Lense.

20. 1 Clue VCR Mystery Game.

21. 2 MySpaces.

22. 2 Blogs.

23. 3 Trips to Kansas.

24. 1 Mustache.

25. 1 Fort.

26. 22 Nerf Guns.

27. 4 mustache waxes.

28. 7 cells phones.

29. 1 Laptop battery.

30. 18 Hair Cuts.

31. 1 Surgery.

Do you know what this is?

I may or may not have seen a demon? I accidentally left this out of my AM Lazer Session but I have to talk about it cause it scared my pants off. As we were skating at the AM session I took a short break and was standing next to Dillon. While on said break a mighty crazy looking huge freaky demon/bug landed on my arm. Now usually I am a pretty cool customer, it takes a lot to freak me out, but I screamed. This thing was evil looking and huge. Dillon witnessed it land on me and was also startled. I wanted to find the words to describe this thing but fell short so I sketched it out.

It was striped and hairy. It had feathered wings like a bird or a hawk. It had big fly like eyes. A long snout which I think was too steal your soul. A jaw filled with teeth. At least 6 legs maybe more and arms with HUMAN hands. I seriously screamed. It was between then size of a kiwi and a plum. It looked like it might have not been full grown! Dillon will back up this whole thing.

All I am saying is watch out! I don’t know if it is just here searching for souls or looking to make new more powerful demons. Or if you know what kind of bug this is let me know.

I miss my Faith. I miss my Jesus.

If anyone has seen my Faith or Jesus let me know where I can get some.