Movie Review : Deadgirl

Alright so I have been watching a lot of films this holiday week. No job and No kids leads to some free time to spend watching some exciting new flicks!

Now I love to recommend films to friends and family since I tend to look for movies outside the norm. Things you wouldn’t normally see and things most people would prefer not to watch. Samantha surprised me by getting us something like 8 movies from netflix for the holiday week! We just finished watching a film called Deadgirl!

I had no idea what I was getting myself into. This movie pretty much blew my mind. Just reading the back of the netflix sleeve sort of freaked me out. I wasn’t sure if I was going to put it in or not but Bruno was so horrible that I couldn’t watch it any longer and Deadgirl got a chance to shine. Now this movie is only for the BRAVE!! The very, very, very BRAVE!!!!! This isn’t really a sit down and watch with your new girlfriend type of movie. It is a little more like sit down and watch with your creepy insane wife who likes sick stuff! Get KRUNK and rent this film!!!!!!!!!

Make sure you rent or buy American Virgin!! Cause my Cousin is in it!!!!

So I don’t actually know any REAL famous people. I met Tony Hawk once in like 98 or 99 but he wasn’t cool yet. I also saw Luke Wilson once in a bar in Austin that’s about it. But my cousin (Chase Ryan Jeffery) is apparently going to be famous sooner or later. I think thats sweet because I want to eventually end up on an episode of TMZ because we leave some L.A. area bar and I punch some paparazzi in the face! How awesome would that be!!! Here is Chase’s most recent project American Virgin!

Chase plays Chuck!

He is the guy on the far right in the coat! I am stoked cause as soon as he has a giant mansion in the hollywood hills I can sleep on his couch and hit up the local skate parks!

Movie Night: Southern Comfort!

This is a movie that I saw many, many years ago probably on a Sunday morning after cartoons. When I saw it on VHS at Movie Trading Company I was stoked because one VHS is the bomb and two Southern Comfort is a classic. Walter Hill wrote and directed this sucker he also directed The Warriors, 48 hrs, and Brewster’s Millions!

This movie is full of familiar 80’s actors and is full of super sweet action, not to mention backwoods hillbillies! Oh you heard me this movie is like Stripes meets Deliverance minus the funny. It is a movie that centers around the inherent dangers of being in the Louisiana National Guard! You should not miss this flick!

Movie Night Revisited!

I was all into making this blog half about my mustache and half about all the movies that I enjoy. I have slacked on the movie side of my blog. Recently I got into country music and a love for westerns! I am going to write about three very different western films that I have enjoyed and I really mean enjoyed!

So this movie was on my Netflix for awhile and I wasn’t sure if I would dig a western. But this opened my eyes to how awesome and how meaningful a western can be. This movie has the action and story that makes you wish you lived when 6 shooters and whiskey made you a man. But unlike most westerns these men have real feelings that start to get in between them and their job. Feelings get you killed. Rent, Buy or Netflix this thing it will make you love Westerns again!

Seriously if you heard Chris Kattan was in a Western and that this Western had Zombies in it you might think “Do I really need to watch or want to watch this movie?” Well let me tell you this thing is so tight and so well put together that I give it a 9 out of 10! I would watch this movie every night before bed if Samantha would let me. Rent this movie…..no wait buy this movie! So if you love Westerns, Chris Kattan, and Zombies then this is an orgasm of awesome time!

Hell….Welcome Home Boys! I have always wanted to be a man and I seriously feel that this movie can in fact help anyone who wants to be a man be a man. I caught this movie on cable and it changed my life! I want to be a High Plains Drifter! This movie was deeper then most Westerns and had a sweet story that really made you think. I can’t even say anything but Clint Eastwood, Guns, Hookers, Death, Hell, Robbery,Midgets,Whips, and the best Western I have ever seen!

Timecrimes : The Best Movie I have seen in my life!

Okay so I have Netflix and I fing love it. Netflix is the best thing I have ever been a part of (besides Sam and Mediocre and Skateboarding). It has allowed me to experience a broad range of films that I would have normally skipped over. Timecrimes is a movie that I would have skipped over for sure. This is a foreign film from Spain and the Spaniards got themselves one sweet film. I really don’t want to get into too much detail about the film since it is such a intense film that pushes you to look deeper into and see what is really going down. It also forces you to like its sort of plain and sometimes frustrating characters. This movie has all the twists and turns and flips you can handle. I would call it Science Fiction/Horror. It has time traveling, death, murder, love, and some stabbing (maybe a boob or two).

I hope that if you read this you take the time to check this film out. I am serious when I say you will like it and it will make you think. I watch a ton of movies and this one is so much better then average. Please pick it up!  You will not be disappointed.

Movie Night : Martyrs : Holly Crap!

I am kind of at a loss of words when I think about my movie experience with Martyrs. I have read a lot of reviews and peoples opinions on line, I agree with some and disagree with others. People have very different views of this movie and some people just didn’t get it. I can’t write a summary or review of this movie because I am not as deep as this movie is. I will say that French people are nuts! I will also say that I finally know the definition of the word “ultraviolent”! I thought that I knew what “ultraviolent” meant but now I realize that I only knew what “violent”, “very violent”, and “mega violent” means. All I really want to say is that everyone should see this movie. Half of the people who watch it will only get about 30 mins into it and give up. Others will never understand it, some will hate it , and only a chosen few will enjoy this film. Give it a shot!

Movies that you SHOULD watch!

Here are some films you should not miss. One action/sci fi flick, one horror film, and a funny zombie epic! Read some then watch some or all!

You think I might like this movie just because of the mustache but that is not true (or at least not the whole truth). This movie has robots, villains (without mustaches but in KISS), heat seeking bullets, hot chicks, explosions, and Tom Selleck ( with a mustache). So please watch this movie I guarantee you will love it. Runaway gets 4 out of 5 mustaches!

Do you want to be scared? This movie is the most insane and scary film that I have seen in like ever. I seriously had to wake Samantha up just so I could go potty in the middle of the night. The 80’s were good for horror movies! This thing is 1980 and it is freaking sweet. Please watch this film and get freaked out. And don’t worry this ain’t that Angelina Jolie junk movie! This is the real deal with George C. Scott.

Just watch this film. Do you like to laugh? Do you like Zombies? Do you like stupid people? I can’t help but love this film!

Movies that I watched that you shouldn’t!

These new 8 films to die for must be pretty rough this time around. Perkins’ 14 was so bad that my eyes were forced by my brain not to watch this film. I can not tell you one cool thing about this film. Do not watch this movie for any reason but if you hate someone buy it and give it to them for christmas.

Robert Englund is the only thing cool in this flick about killer super wasps. But once you get past him this thing is wack. Killer wasps just don’t freak me out. Maybe if I was allergic. I hate new movies with over the top special effects for some reason low budget movies seem to just look bad on film. Black Swarm is for the birds or poop.

This is another one of the 8 films to die for and another disappointment. 2 down and I have not had a lot of luck. The sad thing is that these two sounded the best out of the 8 they released. At least the cover is cool. Autopsy had the best chance at almost being watchable. I really really tried to like this film the idea was good. The story just went from great to good to full of shit!

I know I didn’t go into any great detail about any of these 3 films. I didn’t tell you about the plots, actors, or exciting twists. But trust me this is for your own good. Anything I would have told you might have made you try and watch one of these movies. This would then have led you to kill me. This is also why I love Netflix I didn’t buy any of these movies and I sent them back as quick as possible!

Movie Night 2/14/09 : Death Tunnel

So I know I have not done a movie review in a long, long, long time. I have seen a couple of movies but nothing has really even been worth writing about. Here’s one that I watched last night that isn’t really worth talking about but totally worth warning people about.

Death Tunnel was only 1.99 at entertainmart which should or could have been a warning to the possibility that it would suck balls. I was tricked by a cleverly written description on the back of the dvd. It mentions 5 sexy coeds, abandoned sanitorium (this is how they spelled it on the dvd.), grisly corridors, horror and a tunnel of death. What it omitted was the fact that the movie was extremely over produced and made no sense. It tried to do one of those tarantino things where it shoots from the end to the beginning to the middle to the beginning to the middle to the end to the beginning. This movie could not make up its mind! Only saving grace was a few boobs but even that couldn’t get me to the end of this horrible film. This is a major DO NOT WATCH OR WASTE YOUR MONEY film!

 

Movie Night 1/5/09 : The Mad

Billy Zane was in this film. That’s about the only cool thing I can say about this film. I am kind of a Billy Zane fan I think that dude is cool. I mean Billy Zane kicked ass in The Phantom!

I honestly thought this film might rock and I was wrong. Its basically a mad cow disease film. They argue at one point in the film whether the people are zombies or not. Well I argue if this was an actual movie or some cruel joke.

The best part about me watching this movie was the fact that right near the end of the film the movie just turned off. I mean it was so meant to be. I love Billy Zane he is a badass. He almost makes this film not suck so bad it hurts. But it still sucks! Don’t watch this movie for any reason.