Timecrimes : The Best Movie I have seen in my life!

Okay so I have Netflix and I fing love it. Netflix is the best thing I have ever been a part of (besides Sam and Mediocre and Skateboarding). It has allowed me to experience a broad range of films that I would have normally skipped over. Timecrimes is a movie that I would have skipped over for sure. This is a foreign film from Spain and the Spaniards got themselves one sweet film. I really don’t want to get into too much detail about the film since it is such a intense film that pushes you to look deeper into and see what is really going down. It also forces you to like its sort of plain and sometimes frustrating characters. This movie has all the twists and turns and flips you can handle. I would call it Science Fiction/Horror. It has time traveling, death, murder, love, and some stabbing (maybe a boob or two).

I hope that if you read this you take the time to check this film out. I am serious when I say you will like it and it will make you think. I watch a ton of movies and this one is so much better then average. Please pick it up!  You will not be disappointed.

Movies that I watched that you shouldn’t!

These new 8 films to die for must be pretty rough this time around. Perkins’ 14 was so bad that my eyes were forced by my brain not to watch this film. I can not tell you one cool thing about this film. Do not watch this movie for any reason but if you hate someone buy it and give it to them for christmas.

Robert Englund is the only thing cool in this flick about killer super wasps. But once you get past him this thing is wack. Killer wasps just don’t freak me out. Maybe if I was allergic. I hate new movies with over the top special effects for some reason low budget movies seem to just look bad on film. Black Swarm is for the birds or poop.

This is another one of the 8 films to die for and another disappointment. 2 down and I have not had a lot of luck. The sad thing is that these two sounded the best out of the 8 they released. At least the cover is cool. Autopsy had the best chance at almost being watchable. I really really tried to like this film the idea was good. The story just went from great to good to full of shit!

I know I didn’t go into any great detail about any of these 3 films. I didn’t tell you about the plots, actors, or exciting twists. But trust me this is for your own good. Anything I would have told you might have made you try and watch one of these movies. This would then have led you to kill me. This is also why I love Netflix I didn’t buy any of these movies and I sent them back as quick as possible!

Movie Night: 12/04/08 Headless Horseman, Silent Night Deadly Night 2

Headless Horseman (2007): Sometimes the world is a bad bad place. Sometimes you read the back of a dvd case and think dam that movie might be interesting. Then you order it on Netflix and by goodness if it ain’t so retarded that you start to lose hope in everything that is real. I figured a remake of Sleepy Hollow or something along those lines but its just about a guy who liked to kill kids. Then the dude is killed by a crazy priest who’s ancestors are the only people left in town who just end up being crazy inbreds! STUPID! Take a bullet in the head before you watch this movie.

Silent Night Deadly Night 2 (1987): So after we turned off Headless Horseman (which SUCKED) I thought to myself this film had to be a winner. Killer Santa abused Kid Psycho’s, Nuns, and Boobs! Once again in the movie game of Russian roulette I was shot in the head. This movie was almost bearable. So I can’t say don’t watch it in fear of death but I say don’t watch it cause it will steal some of your life exactly 88 mins of it.

I am currently being not so impressed by Cube 2: Hypercube!

Movies you should never watch!

Sleepaway Camp:  Nothing is even remotely good about this movie. It made me want to rip out my eyes and fill the holes with salt. I made it threw about 20 mins of this film.

Return to Sleepaway Camp:  Dear GOD I can not believe someone basically wanted to remake the above movie and then decided to make it worse. Which I can’t even believe you can make worse, worse! I want to shoot someone over this movie. I made it threw about 15 mins of this film before I wanted to die.

Tromeo and Juliet:  This was a Samantha movie! She usually has great taste in film but this one fell so short of great that I would not even give it a g. The only thing worth a crap in this movie is the fact they show a chick get her nipple pierced which is entertaining for about 10 secs. I held my breath so I wouldn’t smell this movie I only lasted about 15 mins.

American Nightmare:  Low budget, bad story, weird scenes, and bad acting. The only thing that is worth seeing in this movie is the scene where the girl stabs herself in the leg while talking dirty on the radio. I almost made it threw this whole film…….I think I was drinking. 

Cut Throat: This is just a bad rip off of Scream. I can’t even really remember anything about this film it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth and brain. I made it threw roughly 35 mins of this film, I really gave it a chance. In the end I was robbed of precious time that I could have spent picking my nose or masturbating.

 

I almost did not want to write the names of these movies down in fear that someone would attempt to watch it. So seriously DO NO WATCH OR EVEN ATTEMPT TO WATCH these films. I will add more to this list I am sure. With Netflix I am watching more movies then ever so I am sure I will watch some bad movies.

 

Also I would have put links on here to these movies but I am serious do not try and watch these movies or even look them up on the web!

DO NOT LOOK HERE!

Movie Night 11/26/08 : Man Bites Dog

I have mentioned it before but Samantha and I tend to have a weird taste in movies. But this is the first movie that she actually recommended that I loved!! I know so far my movie reviews have basicly sucked. For me movies either SUCK or RULE. There usually isn’t much grey area for me. 

Well this movie Rules! I would give it a 5 out of 5 stars! It is a foreign film so it does involve some reading but for most people that is not a problem unless your 3. And if you are 3 then this is not the movie for you because it is actually one of the more violent films I have ever seen in my life. The scenes of violence and murder are very real and the black and white film just makes it seem that much more dark. This movie for sure inspired other films that rock with a similar plots like Behind the Mask, and The Blair Witch. Man Bites Dog is about a likable serial killer who is being followed by a documentary film crew. But it really is the way you and the film crew sort of fall for Ben (the serial killer) he is an amazing character that you cheer for. This movie is a must see for all people who love horror! The movie has the perfect mix of laughter, horror, murder, and awkward moments that make you want to look away. I do not want to send this movie back to Netflix! I need it for Christmas!!

Make sure you check out a hottie that has better reviews then me…..http://lostinreno.wordpress.com/2008/11/27/movies-4/