Where have I been??? What happened??

I have not looked at my blog in a long time. And when I say I have not looked at it I am dead serious. I really had no idea when or what was the last thing that I wrote on here. It was the blog I wrote when my amazingly talented Kansas buddy ( Matt Headley ) and his equally cool and talented wife and tough new little dude came down to visit for the twins 1st birthday. Now the twins are only a few months away from the big 2nd birthday and they also have a little brother who is half a year old. Matt and family are back in Kansas and I got a new tattoo.

What happened?? Where have I been or what have I been doing?? Really it is a long story. I will give you guys and gals the short and sweet version of events that lead me to be gone so long. And I know I have taken some time off in the past. I know I have freaked out, deleted most of my blogs, freaked out again, felt betrayed, partied, trained, and forgotten about themostmediocre. I really enjoy sharing the boring/excitement of my life. It makes me giggle. I just got caught up in life. I mean real serious life. The kind of life that your parents warn you about. The kind of life that as a kid/teenager you try to ignore. The kind of life that as a young adult you completely block out with the late nights, drinking, drugs, or skateboards. The kind of life that hit me was the kind of life that I hope most people don’t have to bump into in a dark alley.

We found out just fifteen months after having the twins what kind of miracle they really were. The wife and myself struggled through a rough, scary, weird, and did I mention scary pregnancy. Lots of doctors visits, lots of waiting rooms, lots of ultrasounds, lots of opinions, lots of suggestions, and lots of questions. A house already full of kids and babies was a handful but this little fellow was already making his presence known. So fast forward to November 14th……cause I did say I would keep it short and sweet.

We go in to the hospital to have our first son. Everything seems to be going as planned and we are both extra ready to get this little dude out. Ready to be back at home with all his sisters and his pug and Russell Brand. Conrad Abraham Osborn came into this world with little fan fair and zero struggle. We were stoked. Tears were shed and well proud parents said things like “I love you.”, “He is perfect.”, and “Lets take a nap.”. Now in a blink of an eye things changed. Our doctor started to seem mildly concerned with her bleeding, words like hysterectomy were being throw around with other words like surgery. But things were still moving in slow motion. No one seemed overly concerned until my wife basically began to look like a ghost. She was pale and shivering and didn’t look well. And just as they handed my son back to me they realized my wife was in bad shape. Then boom, bang, blitz we became an episode of ER. Nurses are grabbing Doctors, people are yelling for blood, and this and that and “we need to hurry” and “just leave it” and “meet us in the operating room”.

Less then 15 minutes after his birth I was alone in a room with my only son. Blood, needles, wires, and us left in the room. My wife is gone. Pushed out of the room in a whirlwind of nurses and doctors. Alone just the two of us. Really just strangers that had never met. There I was holding the little fellow she was so excited to see and wondering if that was going to be their first and last meeting. It might have been 30 minutes or 15 or 5 before some of the nurses returned to breath some life back into me. My wife was in surgery, they needed to get him to the nursery, I needed to head down to the waiting room, and I needed to freak out! But I was told over and over that all was well.

Four hours later I saw my wife again in the ICU. She had lost a lot of blood and her uterus. We cried. I cried a lot. When you have five kids at home and a very little guy that hasn’t even made it home yet you’re not ready to lose your wife. We cried some more. I was relieved, she was relieved, everyone made it out alive. Now let me tell you the kind of thing that can age a man quickly……the near death experience of his young wife.

I like to discuss skateboards, mustaches, tattoos, movies, funny things, pugs, action, laughter, kids, twins, gun control, your mom, skateboarding, and other junk that means nothing when you almost lose your wife the same day you gain a son. I took some time off to well I guess grow up some. To love my wife more…which I am still working on. To forget for a moment my petty and lame, bitter and sweet ego. I am creeping towards my 6th annual 29th birthday bash and for the first time I am feeling my age. But not just in my body, not just the grey hairs on my head, but in my soul. Or it could just be my back from carrying these twins all around town.

I have taken some time to be with my family. To be a father and a husband first. To make sure that I give and get all I can from this amazing family that I share my life with.

My wife has said that it is time I be me again. The “charismatic douche” that I once was. To have fun again with who I am. To express myself and do some kickflips. So I hope that this little rant helps get everyone back on the same page. Now lets have some fun…………

Always looking for a score at the Thrift Store!

As a rule I always dig through the VHS (if you do not know what this is click here to find out) and DVD’s at the Thrift stores I visit in search of skateboard video gold. I have scored a few times over the years but 99% of the time I strike out hard. I always am waiting for the mom to toss some dudes entire skateboard video collection cause he is 30 something and living in the garage. Or some other hilarious scenario that would be bad for him but a victory for me. Now on Saturday the Wifey and I went Thirfting around town looking for used gold. Like I said 99% of the time I find nothing and Saturday was looking like a big bowl of the same old fail. When I stumbled upon some skateboard gold in DVD form (which is even more rare).

This Livin It DVD has tons of crazy footage. I know some people might say “Oh is that the weird christian skate thing that isn’t hip or cool.” Well it is a Christian video with skateboarders who talk about finding a new life in Christ. I will not tell you if that is cool or not that is up to you. But it does have some super good skateboarding in it. It has some serious skating from Richard Mulder, Andre Genovesi, Robert Lim, Matt Beach, Eric Dressen, and (my homie) Elijah Moore. There is really some fun stuff to watch including old Richard Mulder footage from the early 90’s.

So make sure to keep your eyes open when you are running around the Thrift Store there might just be some lost skateboarding hanging out waiting for a good home.

The Story of a Mustache: Part 1: The Questions??

My blog is about a lot of things…..skateboarding, friends, family, shoes, things I do, things I find weird, movies, owls, and just a little bit about mustaches or moustaches.

So I wanted to write a series of blogs about my mustache, the things that happen to my mustache, and the things that make a mustache. My inspiration for Part 1: The Questions?? actually comes from two friends of mine that have grow equally awesome mustaches or moustaches. I have gotten two recent emails from them asking how I feel about the reactions that I get from the general public.

Now I am an “attention whore”!! So I might be a little more intense then regular people. I love it when people freak out on my mustache. I answer questions at work, in the line at subway, at The Pier, walking to my car in the parking lot, chilling with my wife at Medieval Times, or going to Daddy/Daughter lunch day at school. Now I decided to discuss my Top 4 Questions all time. These Top 4 Questions are the ones that I get the most all time.

#4: Can I touch your Mustache? I know what your thinking…..weird. But it really is the fourth most often asked question. Now this is probably the most physical/intrusive question. But it would probably be my favorite if I was single. I mean about 75% of the time it is a group of teenage girls giggling and daring each other to touch it. 10% of the time it is a single daring lady. The next 10% are children. You know kids love sketchy, mustached, strangers! And the final 5% are random dudes. Now I know what your thinking dam that is weird and mildly gay. But when it comes to the huge responsibility of having a large manly mustache you have to give up some of your personal space.

#3: Can I take a picture of your mustache/with you and your mustache? Now this one some people find kind of ridiculous or hard to believe. But it is super crazy and honestly happens a freaking ton. If you don’t believe me all you have to do is hang out with me and sure as the sun will rise that shit will go down. Now the picture thing is a pretty even mix of ladies and gentlemen. My co-workers, my wife, children, friends, and strangers have seen this go down and it always makes them laugh. I have had girls walk up to my wife to ask if its okay if they take a picture with me. My wife is a for real trooper when it comes to my “Mustache Groupies” (That’s another blog!). I have been recognized off of strangers Facebooks.

“Hey you know my friend, Stacy!” Stranger

“Stacy? I don’t think so.” Me

“No your on her Facebook. She is a tall blonde.” Stranger

“Oh ya.” Me (Still no clue who she is?)

#2: How do you get your Mustache to do that? The last two most popular questions to me seem the silliest! I mean really “How do you get your Mustache to do that?” Well number one I don’t shave it. That is the trick. Now Guys ask me this the most and usually follow it with “I can’t make mine do that.”. I think that 90% of guys are a little jealous and intimidated by a man with a “real” mustache. Every man wants a mustache but they tend to let women, jobs, moms, family, and friends push them around. So for all the guys out there looking to ask me this question let me break it down for you.

1. Don’t shave. And when I say don’t shave I mean for at least 3 months.

2. Don’t be afraid of a little hair in your mouth.

3. Get some Clubman Mustache Wax!

4. Don’t get frustrated. It takes some practice with the wax.

5. If you take on the man Mustache you will then have to answer these same questions!

#1: Is your Mustache real? I know what your thinking “REALLY!”. And yes this is really the question I get seriously more then 10 times a day. Now the thing I find to be most hilarious about this question is the idea of a guy that wakes every morning a half hour early to apply a fake mustache so he can draw a large amount of attention from the people he meets throughout the day while he struggles to convince them that it is real. I hope that someday I can run into “fake mustache guy”. I am not sure what I would do. Maybe fight him, maybe rip off his mustache, or maybe just laugh and cry at the same time. All I say to the is it real question is “yes”. Sometimes I tug on it just to prove that it ain’t coming off. Then I pose for the picture, tell them how they or their boyfriend can grow one, and let them touch it.

This blog might help you make the decision to grow such a real mustache. It might convince you that you should let your man grow one. It might even convince you to stop wearing that fake one to work everyday. Mustaches will come and they will go but when you have a super good mustache the questions will never end.

Picture of baby with mustache!