The Story of a Mustache: Part 1: The Questions??

My blog is about a lot of things…..skateboarding, friends, family, shoes, things I do, things I find weird, movies, owls, and just a little bit about mustaches or moustaches.

So I wanted to write a series of blogs about my mustache, the things that happen to my mustache, and the things that make a mustache. My inspiration for Part 1: The Questions?? actually comes from two friends of mine that have grow equally awesome mustaches or moustaches. I have gotten two recent emails from them asking how I feel about the reactions that I get from the general public.

Now I am an “attention whore”!! So I might be a little more intense then regular people. I love it when people freak out on my mustache. I answer questions at work, in the line at subway, at The Pier, walking to my car in the parking lot, chilling with my wife at Medieval Times, or going to Daddy/Daughter lunch day at school. Now I decided to discuss my Top 4 Questions all time. These Top 4 Questions are the ones that I get the most all time.

#4: Can I touch your Mustache? I know what your thinking…..weird. But it really is the fourth most often asked question. Now this is probably the most physical/intrusive question. But it would probably be my favorite if I was single. I mean about 75% of the time it is a group of teenage girls giggling and daring each other to touch it. 10% of the time it is a single daring lady. The next 10% are children. You know kids love sketchy, mustached, strangers! And the final 5% are random dudes. Now I know what your thinking dam that is weird and mildly gay. But when it comes to the huge responsibility of having a large manly mustache you have to give up some of your personal space.

#3: Can I take a picture of your mustache/with you and your mustache? Now this one some people find kind of ridiculous or hard to believe. But it is super crazy and honestly happens a freaking ton. If you don’t believe me all you have to do is hang out with me and sure as the sun will rise that shit will go down. Now the picture thing is a pretty even mix of ladies and gentlemen. My co-workers, my wife, children, friends, and strangers have seen this go down and it always makes them laugh. I have had girls walk up to my wife to ask if its okay if they take a picture with me. My wife is a for real trooper when it comes to my “Mustache Groupies” (That’s another blog!). I have been recognized off of strangers Facebooks.

“Hey you know my friend, Stacy!” Stranger

“Stacy? I don’t think so.” Me

“No your on her Facebook. She is a tall blonde.” Stranger

“Oh ya.” Me (Still no clue who she is?)

#2: How do you get your Mustache to do that? The last two most popular questions to me seem the silliest! I mean really “How do you get your Mustache to do that?” Well number one I don’t shave it. That is the trick. Now Guys ask me this the most and usually follow it with “I can’t make mine do that.”. I think that 90% of guys are a little jealous and intimidated by a man with a “real” mustache. Every man wants a mustache but they tend to let women, jobs, moms, family, and friends push them around. So for all the guys out there looking to ask me this question let me break it down for you.

1. Don’t shave. And when I say don’t shave I mean for at least 3 months.

2. Don’t be afraid of a little hair in your mouth.

3. Get some Clubman Mustache Wax!

4. Don’t get frustrated. It takes some practice with the wax.

5. If you take on the man Mustache you will then have to answer these same questions!

#1: Is your Mustache real? I know what your thinking “REALLY!”. And yes this is really the question I get seriously more then 10 times a day. Now the thing I find to be most hilarious about this question is the idea of a guy that wakes every morning a half hour early to apply a fake mustache so he can draw a large amount of attention from the people he meets throughout the day while he struggles to convince them that it is real. I hope that someday I can run into “fake mustache guy”. I am not sure what I would do. Maybe fight him, maybe rip off his mustache, or maybe just laugh and cry at the same time. All I say to the is it real question is “yes”. Sometimes I tug on it just to prove that it ain’t coming off. Then I pose for the picture, tell them how they or their boyfriend can grow one, and let them touch it.

This blog might help you make the decision to grow such a real mustache. It might convince you that you should let your man grow one. It might even convince you to stop wearing that fake one to work everyday. Mustaches will come and they will go but when you have a super good mustache the questions will never end.

Picture of baby with mustache!